Family of Heroes
by MrAndersonMan
Summary: Yuan's going to marry Martel, and she thinks it'll be good for him to become better friends with Mithos. So, he comes over to live with him and Kratos. But will Yuan survive the prankfilled five foot wonder?
1. Hangover

Yuan Home Alone

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Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, but I wish I did.

Note: I'm writing this in my free time, ie while I'm supposed to be studying. This'll be filler for when I'm in Writer's block for my other fic. I'm not, but my work is saved on my other computer and I don't feel like getting it. So this won't be updated as much after exams.

Note 2: Final Exams tomorrow. I've studied, but wish me luck anyways.

MrAndersonMan

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Yuan woke with a hangover.

_Ugh... where am I?_

_Where is this place?_

_I'm locked in._

_No key._

_I have to escape._

Yuan got up from the bed, or more specifically, some ferns and a rather hard pinecone. "Now how do I get out of this room?" He pushed the door. It was stuck fast. He looked at it. -Pull- said a little sign. _Pull... _It made a little click in his mind. He pushed the door again. Stuck fast. "Gotta get some water..." He moseyed over to the fountain and drank some refreshing water. _Fountain? _Yes, it was clearly a fountain. With bushes growing around it. And fish swimming inside. "Hmm."

After a delicious fish breakfast and some water from an alternate water source, Yuan was ready to escape. He looked around. There was a large Yuan-shaped hole in the ground near the wall. He looked up. There was an open window. Yuan vaguely remembered having a falling dream. He looked behind him. _Wait, I'm not locked in, I'm locked out. So I have to find a key._ _I know, I'll climb through that window._

After trying many ties to climb five stories and deepening the Yuan-shaped hole a few feet, he gave up. "Boy, I totally feel like Colette now." Yuan got the title 'Colette!' "What? Whaat! Nooooooooo!" slap "Oh, right." He suddenly grew silent as a strange man walked to the door and pulled it open, depositing a box inside. _What...? _He ran to the door and pushed. Locked. He yelled for the man to come back. Turned out to be the mailman. "Hey, um, um! Can you check that parcel you just delivered?" The mailman shrugged, and opened the door again. "Fire in the hole!" Yuan threw himself in and pushed the door shut in the mailman's face. "Wretched door, I'll get you..." He took a blowtorch from it's case above the fireplace and seared the metal door shut. "Ha! Now I'll..." Yuan just realized he had really locked himself in this time.

_Great, where am I? Where was I yesterday?_ Yuan walked around the building. _Nice place, but where's everybody? _He noticed a small piece of paper.

"Dear Yuan, (loser)

I'm off to visit Martel in the Tree, so I've taken the Rheiards. If my new World Domination kit comes today, put it by the fireplace. Don't touch anything. And don't try to go to my room. Also, I've taken all the Rheiards for no apparent reason except I can't remember if my favorite color is yellow or pale yellow. And I also pushed you out the window for fun. I'm not very sorry. Please take it as a personal offense. Remember to feed Noishe, don't drink my coffee, stay away from the shredder, keep Noishe away from the microwave, and don't get drunk like yesterday. I should be back by noon, and I'll try to wreck as many Rheiards as humanly half-Elvenly possible.

Unsincerely, Mithos

PS: If Kratos comes, tell him the Dungeons and Dragons game is at the Ice Seal, not the Water Seal. And you can't come."

"Oh, of all the indignant-gah-grr... wait, was I drunk? So that may be why... wait, so he pushed me out the window. I must have revenge..."

Reaching the hallway to Mithos' room, Yuan stopped. "Well, here goes!" He kicked the door open.

The first thing he saw was an angel plushie casting Judgement at him.

The next four hundred ninety nine things he saw were also angel plushies casting Judgement at him. blam blam blam blam blam

After many First Aids, Yuan was ready for the Plushie Gauntlet again. It all came pretty quickly after he had found aluminum foil and had wrapped himself with it. Kicking open the door, he ran past the angel plushies, the Judgement beams bouncing off harmlessly. "Ha ha! Outwitted you, Mithos!"

But then he felt a mild shock. Looking down, he noticed that he was standing smack in the center of an Indignation. zap zap zap zap zap Screaming, Yuan pulled off the foil and started to run. The angel plushies fired up again. blam blam blam blam blam

After many more First Aids and a bout of acupuncture, Yuan was ready again. He had stuffed leaves and twigs inside the aluminum armor to prevent conduction. "Okay, I'm safe!" Running through the Angel plushie hall and the Indignation panel, he sighed in relief as he reached the door. It was marked -The Godly room of Mithos Yggdrasil. Stay away.- "Ahh... it's his room at last. I've beaten your traps, Mithos!" He opened the door. "Oh, sh-"

A Flame Lance fired out with amazing velocity and set Yuan's wooden/metal armor on fire. foooooooooom "Auuuggghhh!" zap zap zap zap zap "Auuuuuggggghhhhh!" blam blam blam blam blam Auuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh!"

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End of Chapter 1. Read and Review. I actually like Yuan, it's just that he was a character that popped to my head when I was writing this. Flames will be used on Yuan. Until next time! -insert ninja poof- MrAndersonMan


	2. Just Another Day

Disclaimer: -insert disclaimer-

Note: Sorry, I've been on vacation. two weeks with barely any internet access... but I've been spending most of my time outside anyways. And my stories also usually stray from the original plot, so, yeah. Plot changes.

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**harrys-sad-fish**: Thanks. He's meant to be a little jerk.

**Art Vincent Musicanova**: Well, I'm just shooting for humor, and I don't feel like changing chapters unless I make huge mistakes.

**MoonCannon**: Well, I'm writing this after the chapter, and this has sorta turned into a demented play on family life, but that doesn't make it better for Yuan.

click creak wham

"Hey, Mithos, Yuan, I'm home!

Anyone here?

What's this? Hmm..."

Yuan groaned. _Hey, what happened..._ He looked around and got up, but suddenly... "Oh great. I've started a fire!" Well, it was a small fire, but he would have to put it out. And Mithos would blame him. And Kratos would blame it on all the caffeine he drank... but suddenly...

"I can't feel my legs!" and "Oh no, that was Kratos, wasn't it?"

Yes, Kratos had just come home, and he was inspecting some soot strangely lying on the floor. "What happened here? Hmm... did Yuan..." He walked forwards a little, right under the second floor walk.

_Great, not good, I have to think of something..._ Yuan had to get that blasted pillar off his legs first. _Wait... pillar? Then what's supporting the wall? _

**SMASH**

"Who's there! Thieves, reveal yourself!" Kratos revealed his wings, and hopped up. Good news, the debris blocked Yuan from sight. Bad news, he now also lost feeling in his upper torso. And Kratos was stepping on him. Kratos drew his sword and looked around. After seeing no-one, he relaxed, but he had the strange habit of ramming his sword into the floor right before putting it away. Yuan held his breath...

Thunk.

...and breathed a sigh of relief. However, this caused some dust to blow into Kratos' face. He looked down. "Oh. Oh, no. Tell me you didn't do this, Yuan." He grabbed Yuan by his ponytail, "Ow! Let go!" and pulled him up. However, the disturbance caused the railing to fall, and the entire second floor collapsed.

"This is the last time. No more coffee, chocolate, or any caffeine for you! If you destroy my house one more time, I'm burying you in the well. Got that?" A few hours had passed, and after the initial clean-up and application of gels, Kratos was lecturing Yuan angrily. Yuan cringed. _Man, it's all Mithos' fault. He always somehow causes this to happen. Hey, wait..._ Something tinged in Yuan's head. "B-but, no coffee... what do I drink in the morning, then?" Kratos pulled something out. "Here's some tea bags. That's all you're getting."

"Aw..."

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The next morning, the 'family' was enjoying an... outside... breakfast in the kitchen. Mithos was his usual whiny self. "Man, why does Yuan always have to blow up the house? Can't we just kick him out?" Yuan clenched his hands in anger under the table. Kratos sighed. "You know, for someone about to be married to your sister, you aren't very nice to him." _That's right! The wedding!_

Mithos turned and pointed. "Hey, look at Noishe." Kratos looked around casually. "What? He's just running around." While Kratos was looking the other way, Mithos had poured the remainder of his cup of milk onto Yuan's pants. "Okay, I'm off!" He ran off towards Noishe and started playing around with him. "Oh, come on, these were my best pajamas!" Kratos looked at the sky and sighed again. And thus began a new day.

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"Kratos, are you sure this is tea?"

"Yes. It's some of the best from Izoold. It's supposed to reduce stress."

"But... is tea supposed to be this color?"

"Tea comes in many colors. There's red, green, black... almost as many as coffee."

"Okay, but I don't think it'll ever be as good..." Yuan sipped the hot drink. He looked at it. "Um..." He took another small sip. "Kratos..."

"What?"

"I don't think this is tea."

"Really? Looks like tea to me."

"Where'd you buy it?"

"Oh, I didn't. I had Mithos pick it up for me at the mart."

**Ptoo!**

"Oh, for the love of-"sip"Eh?" Kratos tore open the tea bag. "Just what is this?" He looked inside.

**Ptoo!**

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Kratos had walked outside, grabbed Mithos off Noishe ("Hey! Ow! Hey!") And dragged him in. He shoved him into a chair, and pushed a cup into his hands. "Mithos. What is this?" Mithos looked at the cup. "Um... tea?"

"Where did you get this?"

"I bought it, just like you told me to."

Kratos pulled out the bag and tore it open.

"... is this a crushed Boxer Iris?"

"You're making me **_so_** hungry."

"Need some help, Yuan?"

"Nope! Sucking on a sponge never got easier!"

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"God! I just can't stand that kid!"

"Well, Martel said it was okay for him to come over. Besides, he's going to be your brother-in-law."

"Good grief. I'd like to hurl him out a window at the slightest chance."

"Just get past it. After you marry Martel, you guys can move out or something."

"...but I still need a job, and I don't think Botta can lend me enough for crushed coffee nut, much less a house."

"Well, you'll have to make do. The wedding's in a week."

"And in my one month of living with Mithos, well..."

"You'll get over it."

"I hope."

Yuan sighed. _No coffee's really getting to me..._ He walked up the stairs, fingering the new guardrails, and opened the door to his room.

"Mithos? What are- what're those?" Mithos looked up. "Oh, I found these under your bed. I wonder how Martel would feel? Pervert!" Yuan grabbed Mithos, pulled the magazine from his hands, and opened the window. "Time for your flying lessons, Mithos."

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Okay, major revival and plot change. Yayness. Click that little button down there.


	3. Old? Friends

Disclaimer: -insert disclaimer-

Note: It's not fair, all my punctuation and asterisks have vanished. So just try to make do, okay?

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**E.S.. Simeon**: "It's time for your flying lessons?"

**Art Vincent Musicanova**: Kratos is the mature dad peacemaker type. Yuan is probably the older, 16-17 brother, at least in their house. And Mithos is the 10-year old jerk.

**Blissey**: No comment.

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Family of Heroes - Day 2

A Wonderful Life

Yuan woke to an a-clinging and a-clanging downstairs. _Argh..._ He stomped downstairs, grabbed Mithos' collar, pulled the spoon and frying pan from his hands, and went back upstairs.

Yuan woke to an a-clinging and a-clanging downstairs. _Argh..._ He stomped downstairs, grabbed Mithos' collar, pulled the spoon and frying pan from his hands, and went back upstairs.

Yuan woke to an a-clinging and a-clanging downstairs. _Argh..._ He stomped downstairs, grabbed Mithos' collar, pulled the spoon and frying pan from his hands, and went back upstairs.

By the time most of the silverware in the house was messily stacked in Yuan's room, it was time to wake up. But no utensils meant no pancakes. So Kratos made Yuan take them all down again.

During breakfast, Mithos smacked Yuan's butter bat across the room, Yuan smacked Mithos, Kratos yelled at them, then they all went to drink tea.

"You two are so immature sometimes." Kratos and Yuan were outside sparring. Yuan spun dexterously, ducking under Kratos' sword and putting his own to Kratos' neck. "It isn't my fault he's such a little hell ball... so unlike his sister."

"That reminds me. I checked with Altamira, and it should be okay to hold the wedding there. You still need to hurry and make the specific arrangements, though."

"Oh yes, how could I forget? Regal's rich, right? Can't he just lend me some money?"

"I suppose so. However, I do not know the exact condition of his company, but it seems they might be a bit tight on gald. You may need to wait."

"Oh."

"And Yuan?"

"What?"

"Take your sword away from my neck."

"Oh." They began fighting again.

"Hey, Mithos."

"Yeah?"

"_sigh..._ me and Kratos are going to the store. You have the house to yourself."

"Okay."

"Don't accidentally change the locks again."

"Er, okay."

"We're going now. Be good."

"Okay, bye!"

"One last thing."

"Eh?"

"If Lloyd and his groupies come..."

"..."

"...asking about Rheiards..."

"..."

"...don't hesitate to screw them off."

**_Slam!_**

****"..."

**_walk, walk, walk. Slam. Screech!_**

****"Ohhhhh yeah!"

"Hello... oh, Miss Sage. Can I talk to Genis?... yeah, Mithos. The angel guy... er... no. I'm not a girl. ... yes, that one. Yes, that one. _Sigh... _yes, that one. No, I can't be a bad influence if... alright, alright, **I promise I won't tell Genis to help me conquer the world. **/sigh.../ Hey, Genis? Yeah... got the house to myself. Bring your kendama... yeah, Yuan left his computer out again... and see if you can nab Lloyd's Faerie Ring and Zelos' pimp suit. Yeah, maybe a little target practice... okay, great." _Click_ "Alright, let's get the festivities started!"

Around half an hour later, Genis arrived at Kratos' house. "Hey, Genis. Whoa, you've got your own Rheiard?"

"Well, actually, no. I set fire to the living room rug in Zelos' house, and took it off his hands."

"That's great. What else did you bring?" Genis pulled out a pack. "I brought some gels, some other things, and this as well." He took out a small red block. "Krakatonite. This baby has enough firepower to blow down a large mansion!"

"Oh really? How do you know?"

"I used it to set fire to Zelos' rug."

"Say, where's Kratos and everybody?" Mithos looked up from the cream he was decking the house with. "Oh, they went to the store. That probably means we have a good two hours till they come back."

"Um, why's it take that long to shop?"

"They always try to lose each other, and search for stuff to buy. Yuan looks for pretty nasty stuff for an engaged guy, but I don't know about Kratos. I think he's on drugs."

"...hey, wanna pay them a visit?"

"Sure, why not."

But at this time, Yuan wasn't looking for anything nasty or so. He was looking for something else. Probably a nice piece of jewelry, or a ring, or something. He was walking down the aisle when- "Hey, Yuan!"

"Mithos! What're you doing here! And how did you get here? Oh, and the brat." Genis pouted. "I'm not a brat! I'm the same age as Mithos! Or, I look it."

"I never said he wasn't."

"Good."

"Bad."

"What?"

"Guys, I'm busy here."

"Okay, then tell me the password to your computer."

"I can't do that."

"Oh. Okay, I'll go home and set the couch on fire."

About five minutes later, Yuan was sitting at his laptop typing in his password. "I tell you, no funny business. This computer is very expensive."

"Really? How much?"

"One hundred thousand Gald."

"Mua ha ha ha!"

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Meanwhile, at Genis' house...

What Raine says: "He's playing at Mithos' house."

What Lloyd hears: "He's at Mithos' house."

What Lloyd says: "He's at Mithos' house."

What Colette hears: "He's somewhere with Mithos."

What Colette says: "He's somewhere with Mithos."

What Presea hears: "He's been captured by Mithos!"

What Presea says: "He's been captured by Mithos!"

What Zelos hears: "The brat's in trouble."

What Zelos says: "The brat's in trouble."

What everyone says: "Oh, no! We have to save him!"

"Say, Mithos. One thing I don't get."

"What?"

"How did Martel come back?"

_**Flashback**_

_Mithos was kneeling over Martel's body. "No! I failed... Martel is dead..." Kratos walked over. "Mithos. Hurry up."_

_"How can you say that? My sister is dead!"_

_"Just life bottle her." **Bing!**_

_"Sweet! Welcome back, sis!"_

_**End Flashback**_

****"Don't mention it."

"Um, okay."

Already, our wonderful heroes are rarin' to go and beat the darn hell out of some little half-elven kid. But who doesn't. Racists. Anyways, they got on Rheiards, flew to the remains of the Tower of Salvation, and warped to Derris Kharlan. After making their way through hordes of bouncing skulls, and Lloyd wanting to check every walkway for 'goody boxes,' they reached **bam,** Derris Kharlan.

"...eh, what?"

And to this day, none of them knew why Derris-Kharlan had seemingly turned into a whore house for bush babies.

Anyways, reaching the god-forsaken hundred-feet piece of land floating around they had first battled Mithos on, ta-da, no-one was there. Because it had been blown up.

"Great, so how do we find Mithos and save our dear companion now?" Lloyd keeled over from the excess use of the long, long word 'companion.'

"He lives in Triet, near Yuan's base."

"...how did you know that?"

"I drove Genis there."

"...wha?"

"Mithos invited Genis to his house, and from what Zelos told me, he was..."

What Zelos says: "The brat's in trouble."

What Raine says he said: "Mithos is torturing and interrogating him."

What Zelos says: "I didn't! Presea said..."

What Presea says: "He's been captured by Mithos!"

What Zelos says she said: "Mithos is keeping him prisoner in his castle."

What Presea says: "I didn't! Colette said..."

What Colette says: "He's somewhere with Mithos."

What Presea says she said: "Mithos is freakin' killin' him!"

What Colette says: "No! Lloyd must have said..."

What Lloyd says: "He's at Mithos' house."

What Colette says he said: "He's somewhere with Mithos."

What Lloyd says: "I didn't! Raine said..."

What Raine says: "He's playing at Mithos' house."

What Lloyd says she said: "Oh, no! Evil incarnate has captured Genis and is forcing him to watch Yu-Gi-Oh!"

What Raine says: "..."

Lloyd scratched his head. "So... Genis is just playing at Mithos' house?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"And he didn't invite me?"

"Uh..."

"That's too much! I'm after him!" Lloyd drew his sword and started running. Right off the cliff. Raine looked around. "It's your turn to buy the card, Zelos."

**Bam! Bam! Bam!**

"Sheesh, don't knock so loud... I'm coming!"

**Wham! **The door flew open, knocking Mithos back a few feet. "Ow! Who's there!" Lloyd ran in. "...Lloyd?"

"Mithos! Jerk! You host a party and don't invite me?"

"It's- wait, it's not a party, it's only Genis and me..."

"Bullshit! This'll show you! Lightning Thrust!"

**Ka-zapp!**

Mithos tried his best not to die laughing.

Lloyd fell down, thinking "Note to self: Hold wooden end."

Raine and Mithos were talking, Genis was sitting dejected on a bean bag chair, and Lloyd was still lying on the porch. They were debating on whether Mithos was a good friend or not.

"Well, we're afraid since you already killed millions of people, you might be a bad influence on Genis."

"That's ridiculous! Go on the streets and ask 'Have you ever been killed by Mithos?"

"...for a flawed argument, it' s very convincing."

"Thank you."

"...but, I've decided to take Genis home."

Genis stood up. "What! That's not fair!"

"Let's go."

"Come on!" He struggled, causing the krakatonite to fall out. "...Genis..." Genis tried his best to look innocent. But Raine was already so angry her forehead heat set her hair on fire.

**BOOM!**

"Okay. If this isn't a bad influence, what is?"

"Shut up and help me clean, Lloyd." Raine was peering at the supports. "This house seems to fall down a lot. Someone should fix it." Mithos was also angry at Lloyd. "This house must be extra sensitive to stupid people..."

"What's this?" Everyone turned around.

There stood Kratos, in all the magnificence of... casual clothes.

_inserts sounds of fangirls throwing down signs and escaping screaming._

Lloyd drew his sword. "Kratos! What're you doing here?" Kratos looked down, with just a hint of anger in his eyes. "Well, why wouldn't I be here? It's just my bloody house, right?"

"B-but, then why's Mithos here?"

"It doesn't matter. Just clean up this mess, and I'll fix it again." He walked off.

Everyone was very Oo.

"Mithos, does this happen a lot?"

"Sadly, yes."

Raine sure was angry. "That's it. Detention for everyone here!"

"Aww..."

"It's not our fault!"

"My Ultra-Cool Beauty, don't be so mean!"

"Professor, please?" But nothing could please Raine. "No getting away this time! Get acquainted with the toilets, because you'll be getting chummy with them soon."

Lloyd chucked. Genis hit him. "Why are b you /b so happy?" He held something out. "I got Yuan's computer."

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Woo hoo, twice as long as any other chapter. Right, I've introduced the... less important Tales characters, and yet another wonderful day goes by. In the next chapter, I'm introducing either Martel of Botta. Guess which it'll be. And what's on Yuan's computer? Not that great of a chapter, so eat me. -MrAndersonMan


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